Friday, December 26, 2008

Chapter 10: Getting Closer

I recorded in my journal that on February 3rd I had a small party at my house. Being teenagers we were awake half the night. We watched a scary movie and one of the guys kept jumping out and scaring everyone. Eventually, John went upstairs to my room and fell asleep. The rest of us watched another movie and talked until 3 AM. Two friends ran a third home so at this point I woke up John. My writings say that he was so sweet and smiled and told me I was the best thing to wake up to. We hugged each other and he went home and Julie and Lynette spent the night.

The next day my friend Wendy, who was my next door neighbor and who I went to the Baptist church with stayed the night. John called and he had a conviction of keeping the topic of the Lord in, also. We talked about breaking up because of our differences in our beliefs. When we hung up I cried. Wendy hugged me as I bawled and said, "Don't date a Mormon guy it's not worth it, you'll just get hurt. It's Hell." Wendy and I were actually baptized together on the same day on January 9th, 1983. We were baptized in our blue jeans. The purpose of being baptized wasn't for our salvation, because that was already made. This was to ensure that we can join the feast at the second coming of those who got baptized. This is a literal feast of food at the table with the Lord.

In Seminary one day the topic was marriage. The Mormons believed in eternal marriage and eternal families. As they were discussing this topic, I raised my hand and not afraid to offend my peers with the truth, questioned, "Yeah, but what about in Mark chapter 12 verse 25?" I said as I turned my Bible there, "For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven."

"I'd like to talk to you about that after class if that's possible," Mr. Rasmussen said as the class was closing. I went to my next class which was Psychology taught by another wonderful Mormon man named Mr. Jay Stuart. He gave me permission to miss class and meet with Mr. Rasmussen.

I went into his office which was a small, narrow room with an office desk against the wall and a bookshelf loaded with books. He invited me to sit in the chair against the wall next to his desk. I had my Bible in hand. He returned to my question and we read the whole story that goes to that scripture. It is Mark 12:20-25 where there were seven brothers and the first brother took a wife and died before she had children. The second married her and died also with no children. The third and all the seven took her and left her without child. Then the woman died and the question was who would she be married to? I actually thought that surely by the third brother dying the others would figure out she was jinxed and run the other way. But Mr. Rasmussen explained that that was a Levirate marriage which was an unrighteous tradition and not a marriage that has been sealed in the temple the way God wants.

Okay, speaking of God, "What about the scriptures in John Chapter One that proves that the Godhead is a Trinity?" He read through those scriptures and showed me another interpretation that I hadn't heard of......but out of the same Bible. "What about the scripture in Isaiah 43:10 that says there was no God before him or after him? How can you believe that you can become gods?" This was explained to me that he was the God of our earth and there was no god before or after him. But there are other worlds. I spoke out passionately, "I don't mean to be proving you wrong - I want to know the truth." I was impatient at this point because I wanted the truth now. He said, "Krista, if you want to know the truth I know the Lord will help you find it." He then bore his own testimony. I left and in a way. I felt like crying and I felt my load had been lightened slightly. I recognize this now as feeling the spirit.

The next weekend was our Preference Dance. This was a girls' choice semi-formal around Valentine's Day. I asked John with Candy Conversation hearts. He said he didn't deserve to go since he took someone else to the Christmas Dance. I told him I would ask someone else if he didn't want to go with me and asked if he was hoping some one else would ask him - like Teresa. He said he would rather go with me than anyone and to prevent me from asking someone else he said yes.

He picked me up in his dad's small pick up truck. When we were in the truck he handed me a letter. I opened the official looking letter and read, "Congratulations. You are a Salutatorian." It was not such good news to him because he was a candidate for Valedictorian and had been working at this goal since 8th grade. There were three candidates and they chose one boy and one girl. He was the only one cut. I understood his disappointment and he talked for about 20 minutes about his shattered dreams. He put his hand on mine and said, "I'm sorry. I can't ruin tonight." Then he continued, "Today I lost everything I ever wanted except I still have you. I hope I don't lose that, too."

I was glad that he could vent with me. We were best of friends and I felt I could tell him anything and he could tell me anything. It would be very hard losing him, but I would do it for the Lord. We went to a great steak place called "The Prairie Schooner." The atmosphere is that of covered wagons with a starry sky with a desert scene in the middle. There were taxidermied prairie animals and coyotes, cactus and campfires.

After dinner we still had an hour before the dance so I suggested going to the Ogden Temple Visitor's Center. I think this upset John because I think he gave up on me joining the church. We watched "Man's Search For Happiness" and "The First Vision." As I watched "The First Vision" I thought Joseph Smith and I had a lot in common with the same questions. I learned a great scripture that I thought I would apply in my search. James 1:5 & 6: "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed." I didn't think the movies were true, but I grasped that last scripture.

We went to the dance and had fun in spite of John's bad news. We went for ice-cream with Wendy and her date, Tom. John left early, still visibly upset and probably needed time to himself.

Unfortunately, I didn't record what we did for Valentine's Day or my birthday, which is the day before. You would think that would be something pretty significant for a high school girl and it probably was. We went a lot of places together and I ate lunch with him and his friends at school. His friend, Dirk, was a very funny guy and loved to tease. I remember one day at lunch he said something smart alec-ish to get a reaction from me. I looked at him and said as if in slow motion, "W e l l , y o u s o n - o f - a . . . . ." (all eyes on the long table turned to me in shock) "bishop." They laughed. His dad really was a bishop.

John came to my locker a lot and would hug me and lift me off the ground. He would give me a quick kiss before class. We wrote notes and talked on the phone often and told each other "I love you." But there was that one issue...... be continued.....

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